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#BOSK-EZ4F55-JAIL

JAIL TIME POST PROGRESSIVE CONTEMPORARY DOOM POP

Autumn was intrigued by how carefully programmed the schedule was.

All had to wake @ 600 hours. They were given an hour to shower, change, & prepare themselves hygienically otherwise. ’Cept for 1 ditz who oft lagged & had to be prodded by the end o’ the hour, ’cause her hair wasn’t done, most realized they weren’t going to be entering a beauty contest & spent most o’ their time chatting loudly to each other. Autumn spent most o’ her time reading.

700 hours was breakfast — the same cardboard cartons o’ cereal they had @ her school, ’long with a banana or an orange that was too much o’ a hassle to open. Autumn wished she could bring a book with her, but couldn’t, so sufficed with planning & other concerns. She didn’t dare e’en waste time considering robbing her jail mates, nor e’en looked @ them. When someone asked the obvious question, she always said she just tried it once out o’ desperation.

¿What’s Boskeopolis Stories?

A Short Story Series / Web Serial Novel

Boskeopolis is an obscure city-state in the Verdazul archipelago in Orange Ocean ( or, as other countries call it, the Pacific Ocean ). It’s notable for its persistent violation o’ the laws o’ physics, biology, & economics — though, to be fair, real life doesn’t obey that last 1, either. As such, any inconsistencies within these stories should be blamed on glitches, for I’m ’fraid the world o’ Boskeopolis Stories is still just in beta.

Within that city dwelled a perfectionist thief named Autumn Springer, who, with her timid skeletal partner, Edgar Winters, & sometimes with his cheerful chemist friend, Dawn Summers, would go on heists & explore wild lands for treasure. That is, when she wasn’t mired in the various political, environmental, or personal calamities created by Boskeopolis’s other peculiar citizens; or wasn’t dug into domestic concerns o’ work, errands, & her relationship with Edgar; or wasn’t burdened by her own chaotic mental state.

See the “Person’s Represented” section below for mo’ details ’bout the various neuroses o’ hers & many other Boskeopoleon citizens’.

Boskeopolis Stories plays round with a lot o’ genres, moods, & tones, & its chronology isn’t straightforward, or e’en a single, consistent line. Don’t worry too much ’bout reading these stories in the right order — ’cept for maybe those with #’d parts, like the “DISTURBED” stories. Nor should one worry too much ’bout making sense out o’ every story; one shouldn’t have to perfectly understand a story the 1st time it’s read to enjoy it.

As one can see in the archives, stories are divided into yearly “seasons”, like TV series, starting July & ending June the following year — hence why each season lists 2 years. Stories are usually published twice a month starting with season 4. Publication order is determined by many complicated whims, including fitting the tone o’ the month ( wintry, cold stories published in winter )1 & trying to create variety by spreading similar stories ( not always successful ).

I generally aim for 5,000 - 8,000 words per story without creating padding, but I find that some stories require less or mo’. Later stories have gotten shorter, which is 1 reason I rose from 1 to 2 stories per month.

On Story Titles & Codes

Just ’bout all story & bit titles are all-caps. Imagine them being yelled by a belligerent idiot. Don’t be too turned off by them: every story also has a shorter “code name” that can be found @ the end o’ the code string that starts with “#BOSK” & is usually just ’bove the title. These are much mo’ convenient to remember, & I recommend using these when referencing stories.

Every story also has a 6-character code in the middle o’ the “#BOSK” string for li’l logical reason, other than as perhaps a compact way to give misc info ’bout each story or a way to reference The Simpson’s silly episode codes2. This code comprises 4 codes, the 2nd 2 comprising 2 characters each.

For those curious, here’s what each code means:

  • The 1st code is an alphabetical letter that represents the season in which the story was published. A = 1, B = 2, etc.

  • The 2nd code is also an alphabetical letter that represents the relative order in which the story was published within that season. For example, the “HURRY” story was the 5th story published in season 3, so its 2nd character is E.

  • The 3rd code is the most vague. It’s a 2-character hexadecimal # that roughly represents that story’s absolute order in terms o’ when ’twas written, independent o’ publication. For instance, though the “SHIP” story was the 1st published story, ’twas the 9th story written, so its code is 08 ( 1st value is 00, as in most hexidecimal bytes ). Attentive readers will notice holes in the sequence o’ hexidecimal #s, signifying rejected stories. For example, the 1st story I wrote, way back @ the end o’ 2011, was ne’er published ( for good reason — trust me ), so 00 is ne’er used.

    I say this code is vague ’cause these stories weren’t written 1 after the other, but written concurrently, starting & stopping @ varying times. The fact that I wasn’t consistent in when I chose to give a code to a story — when I started the 1st draft or when I finished — or how they’re portioned — the “DISTURBED” stories all have the same code, but the “GENIE” stories have different codes — makes this e’en mo’ imprecise.

  • The 4th code is simply the story’s absolute publication order, also represented by a 2-character hexidecimal value. Read down the codes in the archives page & see that they rise consistently from 00.

Starter’s Guide

Though these stories are published in a specific order, that’s not necessarily the recommended order in which to read them. For 1, season 1 is mediocre, so it’ll give one a bad start. Since the stories play round with chronology so much, one shouldn’t worry too much ’bout reading them in the right order, anyway, with perhaps the exception o’ reading #’d parts in the correct order ( such as the “DISTURBED,” “FELIX,” & “GENIE” stories ). If one found this site through a recommendation with specific story recommendations, feel free to read those recommended stories 1st.

But for those who want advice on where to start:

Straightforward adventure:

Experimental:

Surreal:

General Humor

Drama

Literary

Persons Represented

Autumn Springer

Personality

If you insist on harassing me: I’m a dirty thief who cares ’bout no one but herself. That’s why I’m such a fun person to be round, as you’re experiencing right now. That’s approximately the extent o’ my significance — a’least within your demonstrably low standards.

Appearance

Believe it or not, I don’t color my hair: by some aberration o’ biology, I have red hair, despite how rare that is in Boskeopolis, ’specially ’mong dark-skinned people. Thus why I’m sometimes called the “Red Haired Devil”, though, bizarrely, I’m more oft called the “Ponytailed Devil”, e’en though there are plenty o’ people with ponytails.

These same great genes o’ mine have also inflicted me with weak vision, forcing me to wear these glasses, which is great when I lose them or someone steals them — though it’s clearly not ’nough o’ an inconvenience to lead me to get laser-eye surgery.

My reason for wearing this “PHAT LOOT” shirt should be obvious. I’ve had it since I was a teenager, which is why it has so many holes & is fading, but I’m too cheap to replace it. I probably shouldn’t publicize this, but I fiddled with these otherwise plain gray sweat pants — as well as the jean skirt I wear in the summer, when my usual hobo costume is too warm — so that they have many secret pockets for hiding goods — both for thieving & keeping back rival thieves.

Interests

Just success.

Background

This can be easily looked up, & will be far mo’ accurate than what I’ll lie to you. I’ve been stealing since I was in Kindergarten. Uh… I graduated 2ndary school, believe it or not, though colleges rightfully wanted nothing to do with a criminal like me. That’s all.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1993 September 22
Height
1.6m ( 5.248ft )
Height
59kg ( 130.073lbs )
Element
Fire
Other Element
Silicon
Color
Red or red-orange
Temperament
Melancholic
Favorite Food
Ramen noodles
Favorite Drink
Coffee
Favorite Literature
The story of Robin Hood; nonfiction.

Edgar Winters

Personality

Er, as you can see, I’m not a very outgoing person, though I do like being round people & like helping people when I can.

Appearance

O… Um, well, I guess you know I’m a skeleton. I wear this dark purplish robe I got from when I was in school. Still fits, surprisingly. I don’t know why I still wear it. I guess I should probably replace it, but I don’t know what I’d replace it with, & ’sides, I kind o’ like it &, ’sides, Autumn said she kind o’ liked it, so I dunno. When it gets truly hot, like in summer, I sometimes wear a sunshirt ’stead.

Interests

I like to cook &, ’course, help Autumn with her heists & ventures. ’Course, I can’t taste the food I make — but that’s what Autumn & Dawn are there for, though Autumn usually just says anything I make is good to make me feel good.

Background

Um… I don’t truly have much o’ a background. I, uh, I guess I met Autumn when we were in 2ndary school. I think 10th grade, ¿maybe? It’s funny, I think we met kinda accidentally. She kinda just wanted help raising money & she helped me when ’nother student was mad @ her &… I dunno. I don’t remember how it went from there.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1993 December 4
Height
1.44m ( 4.7232ft )
Height
34kg ( 74.957lbs )
Element
Ice
Other Element
Potassium
Color
White or gray
Temperament
Phlegmatic
Favorite Food
Lemon sherbet
Favorite Drink
Hot cocoa
Favorite Literature
Oliver Twist

Dawn Summers

Personality

¡All o’ them! Well, ’cept the bad 1s, I guess. ;)

I guess I’m not the most responsible person, ’less it’s truly important, like someone’s in trouble or something. I mean, I haven’t done anything truly horrible yet, like accidentally poke someone’s eyes out or something.

Some people say I’m cheery to a fault; — that person is Autumn, by the way — but I don’t see how there can e’er be a fault to that, so they’re obviously wrong.

Appearance

¿You like my green jacket / dress thing? I got the idea from some video game hardly anyone’s probably played. It e’en comes with this cracked bat I keep in my back in case I have to fend off o’erly assertive marketers or my insecurities. I made sure to cut plenty o’ holes in it — the jacket, not the bat — so I can fit all o’ the chemicals & doodads I have on me. You have no idea how useful they can be. Cute, too.

Interests

¡Everything! ¿What couldn’t be interesting? Well, I guess watching paint dry could be kinda repetitive… but then I could just try imagining all o’ the air molecules pushing gainst the poor paint & causing all o’ the H2O molecules to be squished to death, or imagine oxygen atoms coming in & forming orgies with a bunch o’ carbon-hydrogen groups & fatty acids ( unlike a lot o’ humans, molecules don’t fat-shame ).

When I’m not screwing round with chemistry that will probably cause major explosions, I like to play video games or watch movies or hang out with or woo — everyone says that no one can make pickup lines like I can, which I totally can’t understand as subtle mockery @ all — a lot o’ different people or listen to music or e’en make my own music, though it’s not very good, or e’en try making my own video games & not getting much farther than a simple chase game, & a bunch o’ other stuff I can’t remember right now.

So, like I said, everything.

Background

Most o’ my life’s been spent pretending to be a hero warrior in what Autumn calls my electronic fantasies, but you probably don’t want to hear ’bout that.

Well, let’s see… I went to Boskeopolis University & got a Bachelor’s ( sorry if that shouldn’t be capitalized; this genius college graduate can’t remember whether it should be or not ) in chemistry & am currently working on my Master’s. My parents used to run a restaurant till they died & left it to me so I could run it into the ground & have to sell it to 1 o’ those evil corporate executives, who are probably running it much better than I did ’cause they’re evil corporate executives. ;)

Actually, it’s funny: I remember running that restaurant being truly upsetting, but looking back on it now, it doesn’t look so bad & I’m actually kinda glad I did it, since it was new, & there’s always something good you can learn from new things, e’en if what you learn is to ne’er do that thing ’gain. I always have to make myself do new things ’cause there’s only so much time left ’fore you’re in the infinite chasm & I don’t want to go there without having done everything yet. But then I end up missing the ol’ stuff I’m not doing anymo’ ’cause I’m doing all this new stuff & it becomes impossible to find time for it all. ¡Augh!

I guess I’m rambling ’bout irrelevant nonsense now. Sorry. I think that’s everything — everything important, a’least.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1990 July 17
Height
1.73m ( 5.6744ft )
Height
68kg ( 149.914lbs )
Element
Earth
Other Element
Molybdenum
Color
Green
Temperament
Sanguine
Favorite Food
Buttercup candy
Favorite Drink
Kool-Aid
Favorite Literature
Perdido Street Station

Lance Chamsby

Personality

¡I, Lance Chamsby, am as any good man, an independent man who refuses to be enslaved by any, who profits purely by his own wit & grit! I’ve yet to meet a man who couldn’t find themselves admire me — & those who wouldn’t be able to would surely be jealous dependent-types.

Appearance

¡My cloak & top hat are as black as the funds o’ a well-run business, the latter emblazoned with a golden dollar sign, the 1 sign that signifies human intelligence, self-preservation, & high standards!

Interests

¡My prime interest is myself & my work, not for the sake o’ others, but purely for the sake o’ self-expression! Someday I plan to publish my magnum opus, a literary paean to brilliant individualists like me, as found in the works o’ that greatest writer in the world, Ayn Rand. However, lately I’ve been busy with the mo’ vital work o’ cleaning this world o’ its parasites so the world can be good ’nough for my brilliant work, which includes stopping that vile looter, the Ponytailed Devil, & perhaps e’en running for mayor.

Background

My background should be obvious to all: I was born to the Chamsbys, the richest family in Boskeopolis since the early 1900s. When my brilliant father, Fitzgerald J. Chamsby, passed far too early, I inherited his businesses. I attended St. Sebastian’s Private 2ndary School, where many o’ my teachers praised my excellent study. Obviously, I could’ve gone on to any college I wanted, — preferrably an upscale university in the US — but my business responsibilities left me far too busy doing vital work to play round with academia.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1997 March 3
Height
1.42m ( 4.6576ft )
Height
41kg ( 90.389lbs )
Element
Lightning
Other Element
Gold
Color
Gold
Temperament
Choleric
Favorite Food
¡Yo, Dolly! and Guffaws bars
Favorite Drink
Cherry Hero-Hero Cola
Favorite Literature
Atlas Shrugged

Heloise Solstice

Personality

It’s awfully nice o’ you to ask me; but I’m ’fraid there’s not much to say. I don’t interact much with people, you see.

Appearance

But if you truly want to know, this red-orange bird mask I found in a costume shop in the middle o’ nowhere eons ago. Only cost 5₧, too. I’m sorry to say that I don’t remember where this white robe o’ mine originated, but it’s awfully comfy.

Interests

Nothing much: I just enjoy spending my free time reenacting some o’ my favorite stories from history with my tub o’ figurines. Sometimes I like to read or watch shows, too.

Background

O, there’s not much to say…

Well, if you insist: I was formed deep in the heart o’ the Crystal Caves from calcium stalagtites by the geometrical magic o’ the Heavenly Parliament. I don’t remember hardly anything from then to now. I’m deeply sorry.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1983 August 17
Height
1.35m ( 4.428ft )
Height
40kg ( 88.185lbs )
Element
Water
Other Element
Krypton
Color
White or baby blue
Temperament
Sanguine
Favorite Food
Kettle pies
Favorite Drink
Boskeopoleon brunch tea
Favorite Literature
Goosebumps

Thursday O’beefe

Personality

Don’t let O’Beefe’s spunky attitude fool you: he’s the most serious journalist in Boskeopolis, praised all o’er for ne’er giving into the lamestream media & for standing up to the average Boskeopoleon who eats Subway™ sandwiches.

That’s not to say that he’s square. When he isn’t being a journalistic ninja, he enjoys motorcycling, mountain climbing, & saving the world from meteors.

Appearance

O’Beefe ne’er leaves his home without ensuring that he’s impeccably dressed. You will usually find him in a fetching dark gray tweed suit with shiny white gloves & a bowtie as red as roses. His hair is always equally neat, perfectly parted in the middle.

Background

Thursday O’Beefe graduated Applewood 2ndary School in 2012, which is where he began his career as the bravest journalist in Boskeopolis. Since then he’s been putting his foot in every doorway, tirelessly seeking opportunities for serving the scrumptious truth to Boskeopoleon citizens in all corners.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1994 August 24
Height
1.5m ( 4.92ft )
Height
59kg ( 130.073lbs )
Element
Normal
Other Element
Lead
Color
Platinum
Temperament
Sanguine
Favorite Food
Radish bagels
Favorite Drink
Mineral water
Favorite Literature
Hard-hitting newspapers

Felix Spero

Personality

O, uh, I don’t know what to say.

Well, I guess everyone says I apologize too much & that I hate myself too much, though I’ve been trying to do that less, as it’s probably e’en mo’ annoying.

Appearance

I guess I’m a cat or something, which probably ’splains why — wait, I’m not s’posed to say things like that. I was always told I was just faking being a cat, though nobody could figure out how to get this cat costume off me. But Dawn says that I am definitely a true cat. I’m, ’course, not the kind o’ person who’d know stuff like that.

I don’t know where I got this pink headband or pink scarf or purple sweater or e’en these weird tan jeans. Sorry if my taste isn’t very good. Dawn tells me it is, but she’s probably just trying to make me feel good, which is nice o’ her.

Interests

Um… Well, sometimes I read & write — I’ve been trying to practice it a lot so I can learn to write as well as Violet, who is amazingly good with words. I also like to do art & drawing stuff when I have free time.

Background

You don’t want to hear ’bout that.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1990 October 9
Height
1.45m ( 4.756ft )
Height
59kg ( 130.073lbs )
Element
Lunar
Other Element
Oxygen
Color
Pink / purple
Temperament
Melancholic
Favorite Food
Crackers
Favorite Drink
Chocolate milk
Favorite Literature
Romance novels

Violet Ajambo

Personality

So that I may be consummately accurate, I must confess my proclivity toward imbuing most in proximity with petulance due to my penchant toward magniloquent diction in my communication. Notwithstanding this detriment, I perennially attempt to maintain an amiable disposition, though I must additionally confess that it may be debilitated by my supplementary propensity toward disquietude.

Appearance

I am not confident if that is a subject for which one may discuss regarding oneself properly; howe’er, if it is imperative, I shall attempt to do my utmost in describing myself as objectively as feasible: my coiffure is sable, with its posterior fastened into a mildy globular protuberance and the proscenium extended all along my visage; my nostrils have often been particularized by various colleagues I have had as angular… Additionally, I suppose my the mass of my constitution is diminutive compared to that of the median homo sapien, judging by statistics, though I must assure you that this is due purely to arbitrary nature and that I harbor no insecurity in regards to my weight, though I suppose that would be the natural suspicion for most people.

In regards to my accoutrement, it is nothing more fascinating than the customary album-and-caerula business suit. As for my purpose for maintaining this habiliment even when not presently present in a professional milieu, I was perpetually instructed that how one promulgates oneself is how society will construe one — as somber as this is to contemplate.

Interests

The primary subject in which I harbor immense interest is literature and the study thereof, which is the rationale for my electing it as my major at the aforementioned university in which I attend.

Background

It is imperative that I acknowledge the lack of animation in regards to my background. My residence of origin was Birch Street, my secondary school was St. Sebastian’s Secondary School, and the university that I am attending in the present is, of course, Boskeopolis University, which I began attending in the year 2013.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1995 May 3
Height
1.9m ( 6.232ft )
Height
61kg ( 134.482lbs )
Element
Leaf
Other Element
Ununoctium
Color
Cyan
Temperament
’Tween choleric & phlegmatic
Favorite Food
Peppermint ice cream
Favorite Drink
Bottled water
Favorite Literature
Shakespeare

Dysmas Equinox

Personality

Nothing special, truly. I guess I can be kind o’ weird sometimes. ( Laughs. )

Appearance

( Laughs. ) Ne’er considered that prime concern, truly. Since I’m always doing lab work, e’en @ home, I usually wear your usual white lab coat.

As you can see, my hair’s already graying.

Interests

Well, biology, obviously.

Other than that, I like to spend my free time reading or petting my cat, Moniz.

Background

Let’s see… I graduated from Evergreen 2ndary School in… 197…¿6? Yeah, that must be it, ’cause I received my PhD in biology — from Boskeopolis University, ’course — in 1988, which is 12 years afterward.

Insipid Trivia Irrelevant to Stories

Birth Date
1957 November 11
Height
1.85m ( 6.068ft )
Height
64kg ( 141.096lbs )
Element
Poison
Other Element
Nobelium
Color
Gray
Temperament
Choleric
Favorite Food
Tuna salad
Favorite Drink
Mint tea
Favorite Literature
H.G. Wells