Read YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR JUST DESERTS UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR LIMESTONE SO EAT UP YOU LITTLE PUNK, Moon 1: Rescue Edgar

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YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR JUST DESERTS UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR LIMESTONE SO EAT UP YOU LITTLE PUNK

Moon 2: Secret o’ the Oasis

J. J. W. Mezun ☆ Season 5 ☆ 2017 July 15

Durian Desert. Moon 2: Secret o’ the Oasis(Autumn & Edgar walking through the desert.)Edgar: “Not to sound rude… But…”.Autumn: “¿When are we finally going to get to that godforsaken oasis? I wish I knew, too”.Autumn: “Everything here looks the same, so I can only guess that we’re just going closer in”.Autumn: “& that it’ll presumably ’ventually end”.Edgar: “¿You think we might’ve taken a wrong turn or something…?”.Autumn: “¿Wrong turn? There’s only 2 ways to go: forward & back”.Edgar: “I s’spose we couldn’t dig underground & find secret passages…”.Autumn: “Doubt it”.[An hour later…]Autumn: “Edgar… ¿Are you all right? You don’t sound right…”.Autumn: “…”.Autumn: “¿Edgar?”.(Autumn turns back & sees Edgar lying on the ground.)Autumn: “Yes… Just as I thought…”.(Autumn bends down & touch Edgar.)Autumn: “¡Jesus! He absorbs heat like metal”.Autumn: “Maybe I could’ve… poured water on him to help if I hadn’t drank it all already”.Autumn: “¿Why didn’t I think?”.Autumn: “O well…”.Autumn: “I doubt… We’ll last long… regardless”.(Autumn collapses.)(Fade to white.)(Fades back into world o’ glitchy, incoherent blocks. Autumn sleeping while lying back gainst a wall o’ random blocks while a snake stands ’cross from her.)(Autumn wakes.)Snake: “Good afternoon, Madame. I hope I haven’t interrupted your sleep”.Autumn: “¿Who are you? ¿Where am I? ¿Where’s Edgar?”.Snake: “I found you knocked out in the midst o’ Durian Desert — likely from heatstroke”.Snake: “I found that your stomach made a perfect vessel to keep my eggs,[…]”.Snake: “[…]so in return for this favor, I brought you to a place where there’s shade”.Snake: “You should return to sanity rather soon”.Autumn: “¿What was that ’bout eggs in my stomach? ¿& where is there shade anywhere?”.Snake: “…”.Snake: “Ah, I see”.Snake: “You don’t know ’bout the Desert Maze, ¿do you?”.Autumn: “¿Maze?”.Snake: “Yes: if you keep going in 1 direction, you’ll just loop through the same area”.Snake: “No wonder you ne’er got anywhere”.Snake: “You must go left & right in certain areas to get to certain other areas”.Snake: “I take it you’re looking for the Secret Oasis, ¿right?”.Autumn: “Yes”.Snake: “I’ve heard a riddle ’bout how to find it, though I fear it don’t understand it myself;[…]”.Snake: “[…]but if you can figure out what ‘Fibonacci’ is, perhaps you can”.Autumn: “OK… Thank you”.(everything round Autumn begins fading to white.)(Autumn’s surroundings fade back in from white, now normal desert with palm tree ’hind Autumn.)(Autumn stands up.)(Autumn turns to see Edgar resting ’hind her.)Autumn: “Seems a pity to wake such a sexy sleeper…”.Autumn: “…”.Autumn: “I s’pose I can wait till I think mo’ carefully ’bout what we’ll do next”.Autumn: “This’ll allow our bodies to cool mo’, anyway”.Autumn: “Now, ¿what did that snake say in that…?”.Autumn: “¿Dream? I don’t e’en know if my mind didn’t make the whole thing up”.Autumn: “& yet it knew precisely where I was taken ’fore I was conscious o’ it”.Autumn: “Hmm…”.Autumn: “¿Fibonacci? ¿Isn’t that some # sequence?”.Autumn: “¿Don’t you start with 2 1s & then count the sum o’ the previous 2 #s for each next #?”.Autumn: “¿But what’s that have to go with left & right”.Autumn: “¿Is each # how many times I should go in 1 direction before switching?”.Autumn: “¿Should I go right, left… right, right, left left left… & then right 5 times?”.Autumn: “¿Or maybe I should start going left?”.Autumn: “¿& should I start here?”.Autumn: “Hmm… I’ll have to see…”.Edgar: “¿Autumn?”.(Autumn looks back to see Edgar ’wake.)(Edgar looks round.)Edgar: “¿Where are we?”.Autumn: “Some shady area”.Autumn: “Hey, I may have an idea for how to get to the oasis; but it’s a long toss”.Autumn: “Just follow me, ’K”.Autumn: “’K, let’s try this”.[’Nother hour later…]Edgar: “¡Gasp! ¿Is this it?”.Autumn: (looks down into water.) “Looks like it”.Edgar: “¿But then where is the moon?”.Autumn: “Best bet is in the water”.(Autumn dives into the water.)(Autumn sees piranhas.)(piranhas open their mouths.)(Edgar stares down into water.)(Edgar jumps back as he sees bustling underwater.)(Edgar waits.)(Autumn, bruised, swims back to the surface.)(Autumn jumps out o’ the water.)Autumn: (pant, pant)Edgar: “O my God… ¿Are you OK?”.Autumn: “(pant) Yes… (pant) I got it”.(Autumn raises moon into the air.)
Read YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR JUST DESERTS UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR LIMESTONE SO EAT UP YOU LITTLE PUNK, Moon 3: The Moon O'erlooking Nightcliff