¿Who is Nasrin Mohsen?

¿Why do you need to know? ¿What did she e’er do to you?

There’s no good reason for Nasrin to be the star o’ this series, but the Programmers decided she must be gainst her will. It wasn’t her fault, but she was sure people would blame her, anyway, since being blamed was apparently the only thing she was good @. That’s OK. She was good @ being blamed. In fact, she quite liked being blamed, ’cause it showed how good she was @ being blamed. If it stirred their juices, let them.

The Programmers also decreed that to pay for this gift o’ having her dearth o’ sleep depleted further by all these tiring adventures that she’d be subject to various unexplained magical dangers. Her father would probably call her stupid for believing in magic. In fact, everyone probably would be doing so if not for the fact that they were doing so already. That’s cool. She was quite sure the world would be better if she was mauled by a spontaneous black hole, anyway — & maybe then she could catch up on her always-lacking sleep.

Nasrin’s quite sure you’d find her interests childish & idiotic & can’t see any good reasons to talk ’bout them, or anything, truly. Her father likes to make fun o’ her ’cause she dresses like a boy who ne’er leaves his bed, or something, but that’s just ’cause they all have bad taste.

As mentioned many times, she sleeps a lot, ’cause her weak body always feels tired. ’Course, people like interrupting her sleep ’cause o’ how repugnant it is, but that’s OK. Many people are much worse off, & she’s gotten quite used to surviving her weakness.

According to her father, Nasrin got her name ’cause her mother thought it sounded nice — which seems off, considering the lack o’ interest in them her father said she has — & ’cause her father wanted her to have an Iranian name despite ne’er setting foot in that country so that she’d be picked on by racist “wingnuts”, or something. He truly said something close to that, & thought ’twas quite funny, & to be fair, she’s not bothered by it, since she’s sure those people who hate her if she had some boring ordinary name. & it is a kinda nice name.

It apparently means “wild rose”, which amused her father, since’s she’s a wuss who ne’er leaves her room; but she likes to imagine it being a dark, poison-colored rose with blood-soaked thorns. Maybe a monster with a mouth in the hole o’ the rose head, with teeth, that snaps @ characters who try to pass by, found in some bramble garden level. People would probably find that e’en mo’ laughably different from her wussy self, which is why she’d ne’er dream o’ telling them, but that’s fine. She ne’er found reality all that interesting, anyway.

She also has an ol’ brother who moved out @ 17 & did a lot o’ troublemaker things, — 1000 times mo’ than Nasrin would e’er do — but was quite nice &, surprisingly, didn’t pick on her much, despite the prime opportunity. Despite all the trouble-making & having e’en worse grades than she got & having only gotten some alternate secondary school diploma after becoming an adult, he’s doing quite well apparently, in some office job, which is better than Nasrin could say, who still mooches off her father, despite having a degree from some online college for idiots. She remembered when her father made fun o’ her ’cause some dumb show he was watching ( rightfully ) made fun o’ the college she went to, which is e’en funnier, considering ’twas his idea to go to it.